You understand my neuroses.

I officially hate Chicago until you leave it. I am pretty sure this t-shirt is a sports reference. I hate sports too.

NOTE: Pennsylvania did call me back last night. And he helped calm me down. It's odd that the person who is causing so much of my grief is the one person who can really comfort me.

Dear Pennsylvania,

First off, thanks again for calling me back last night. I was really having an intense physical reaction to my grief - transition etc. I am lucky you are such a good friend to me - even now. But I don't want to get to dependent on your friendship. Before you know it you will have a new girl-friend and I will still be in love with you and then it will just suck a million times more than it does now. But I don't know who else to turn to - especially at 1 in the morning. You know me better than anyone - you understand my neuroses and more than that know just how to deal with them. I have never had a more intimate relationship than the one I shared with you. Thank you. It does kind of annoy me that the feeling probably isn't mutual.

Not much to say tonight. I guess that's a good thing. It snowed here today and the world is quiet with a fresh blanket of white. Everything always seems to slow when it snows. I still managed to drive myself to yoga - slipping and sliding the whole way there. But the reward was having the teacher all to myself. I have been seriously thinking about moving to India to learn how to teach yoga. I figure if I am going to do it, I might as well go to the source.

I never felt entirely comfortable doing yoga around you. Maybe because you are more advanced than me. But I think it might be because you have a certain attitude when it comes to yoga. A lot of yogis do, kind of like it's a weird competitive ego trip. An elitist kind of attitude. And if you ask me that is the opposite of what a yogi should be.

Anyway, I am trying hard to not think about you in Chicago right now. Ugh. I don't know why but it makes me sick. I hate Chicago just because you are there.

On that note, I am signing off. Here is hoping that I actually sleep tonight.

Thanks again for being there for me.

Love

Wisconsin