Maybe I should date Santa - or one of his elves

Look! I made you a Christmas card!

Dear Pennsylvania,

You missed it!!! I just watched the best Glee ever - CHRISTMAS Glee!!! Of course you can imagine just how much I would love that combination. Yikes - I felt like a kid on Christmas :)

I do love Christmas, even without Glee. We never really got to do a Christmas together. It's my dream to be in love and have Christmas with my man. I thought that man would be you (despite that fact you hate Christmas). Someday I hope I can do Christmas with someone who really loves me. We will cut down a fresh tree and and listen to Christmas music while we decorate it with popcorn and cranberry strings, white lights and a star on top. Of course we will be sipping home-made hot cocoa and laughing with a fire burning in our fireplace. Then he will kiss me under the mistletoe and kiss and kiss...... I know the mere idea of that makes you roll your eyes and you can hardly imagine anything worse. All the more reason why I need to move on. Maybe I should date Santa - or one of his elves ;)

Despite the Christmas joy there is something fundamentally lonely and sad about Christmas, it's romantic in a somber kind of way. This year it's much worse than usual. I am missing you. And I am watching children experience Christmastime with their mother in hospice.

You are in Chicago right now....or maybe you leave tomorrow. It's sad that you are in the same time zone as me (or will be soon) and we won't be seeing each other. It kind of makes me sick actually. I kind of have to put it out of my mind otherwise I will obsess. It's easier to think of you at home - doing the same thing. It helps knowing where you are or what you are probably doing. I hate that you are doing new things without me. I hate that you will be playing in Chicago bars with Chicago girls and they will think you are beautiful, because you are. It makes me want to vomit thinking of you flirting or even looking at other girls. Omg - the thought of you kissing. UGH - PUKE. I am actually having a mini-gag reflex - I want to throw up. I feel heart-broken all over again.

I should have had you sign some break-up terms. We might not be getting a divorce - but I still think you owe me something for all this pain and suffering.

So here are the terms*:

• You have to shave face CLEAN everyday for five years
• You cannot date ANYONE until I do first and once I do you still have to wait two years
• Your next three girl-friends must be really fat and have mold growing between their fat folds. And they treat you like shit.
• NO MARRIAGE ever (unless you marry me)
• NO FLIRTING WITH CHICAGO GIRLS!!! (or any girls for that matter) for 2.5 years
• You are to remain celibate for 5 years or until I am married.
• You must suffer they way I am suffering.
• No physical contact with girls for 3.5 years.

*All this will be null and void if you realize you are gay.

I think that should do it - for now anyway.

Love

Wisconsin