I reverted back to about the 8th grade and blew up at my mom

Dear Pennsylvania,

I leave tomorrow for Florida at 7am. Two, straight 12 hours days with my parents in the car. Oh joy. I wish it was you and me who were flying there instead.

I had a break-down when I got to my parents house tonight. I reverted back to about the 8th grade and blew up at my mom. I just haven't had a lot of time to really process everything - especially the living situation. It's just so incredibly sad at times. This morning I woke up and Uncle had written each of his kids a note - regarding their mother. Here is a snippet from Two's:

".......please know that we have many memories to remember about her wonderful, funny and beautiful your mom was. In my mind she still is that way. I hope we can talk, sing and laugh about all the fun times we have had. I am always open to talk, think or just sit......"

Jesus. What a way to start the day. Two told me last night that One hates me. I make him do his homework all day, so I suppose it isn't a surprise. Still, I can't help but be a little hurt. Of course I know that I shouldn't take it personally. He is a kid, losing his mother - he probably resents me or is misdirecting his anger on me. Maybe he is just a 12 year old boy who doesn't want to be told to do his homework - or take out the cat litter - or do the dishes. Plus even I know I can be annoying.

I just hope that my time with them is helping, not hurting.

I had the 2nd job interview today. I think it went well. I keep going back and forth on what to do if I would get the offer. I am leaning in that direction - but then again I think about the "corporate" environment and I cringe. I am kind of against corporate America. I kind of hate it. I mean they could never know about this blog. I feel like you always have to hide who you really are. And I don't like that. That is why I would much rather be a yoga teacher. Of course the problem is in order to be a yoga teacher I need to first have money. And this job would provide that for me. And help me save some money so I won't have to be the struggling artist type. That would be nice. So maybe for a year or two I take the job (if I get it). Try out a new city. Maybe you will change your mind and be my roomie :) JUST KIDDING! I am not that delusional.

Alright - I should sleep. Early morning in the car....all day. Ugh.

I love you.

Love

Wisconsin