Remember "friendster"? Unfortunately the internet does.

Last night in my slightly drunken state I emailed him.....here are last night/today's email exchanges.

WISCONSIN:

I am drunk and I miss you. But I am happy because I love my cousins and my Uncle and feel so grateful to help.

I love you even if you don't.

Love always and forever,

Wisconsin

PENNSYLVANIA:

(he attached a picture of me he found)

i wish u wouldn't say over and over that i don't love u. cause i do very much. u are not just a friendster...

YIKES!!! How did he find this?!?!?

Remember friendster? Unfortunately the internet does.

(I blocked the faces.....believe me I don't even want to see myself that drunk.)

WISCONSIN:

LOL!!!!!!!! That picture pretty much sums up my college years. D.R.U.N.K. Yikes. That's funny you found that bc I just found that the other day too when I googled myself. HA! I remember my friends setting me up the friendster account putting up that picture as a joke. Now the jokes is really on me. Ugh. :)

I am up at 3 am to drink some water and rinse my eyes. Pray for my eyes. I finally got sick this past week - and somehow have a cold in my eyes. It's disgusting. I don't have health insurance - which usually I don't care, but eyes make me nervous. I love seeing.

I know you love me dear....very much. I mean "in love" when I write that. Sorry.

Going back to bed.

Sweet dreams.

Love,

Wisconsin

(I emailed again, like a half hour later)

WISCONSIN:

I can't sleep. Because I am sad about our break-up for practical things that I often ignore. In this whole breakup I have been concentrating on love - which comes as no surprise. You know I am in love with you. That hasn't changed - if anything absence has made my heart grow fonder :)

But there are some truths to our break-up that go beyond emotion - some things that even with love might never work - and that makes me sad. I think of how much more stable I feel since coming home. So much of that has to do with routine. And as much as I hate to say it I am a routine girl. Emotionally and physically I function much better on a tight schedule. Waking up at the same time - going to bed at the same time, eating the same thing for breakfast. Going to yoga everyday at the same time. Having a plan. It helps me to feel balanced and at ease. I truly feel more sane and suffer much less having a fixed schedule.

You are the opposite of that - schedules suffocate you. Planning drives you nuts. You love your crazy schedule. It isn't crazy to you. We have opposite needs. You would benefit from a free-spirit type who feels free and relaxed with your life-style. That isn't me. I would benefit from someone who had a really stable schedule so we could snyc our rhythms together - otherwise I would spend all my time trying to do so (like I did with us). I don't know that either of us could really feel free with each other. That makes me sad. Because I still want us to work....somehow. But I don't know that we ever really did.

Plus we have no money and that makes me nervous. That is an easy fix though. But the schedule thing - that's fundamental.

Shit man. I really hate break-ups. And I hate practical thought.

But it never stopped me from loving you - and it probably never will.

Love

Wisconsin

PENNSYLVANIA:

planning smanning. it's all perspective. you cand see it as an obstacle and a burden and or a postive thing that our strengths are eachothers weaknesses. depends what you want and need out of the relationship. someone to push u or hold u in place....


how do u want the notes to resonate? what is more beautiful to you? unison or contrary motion? consonance or dissonance?

WISCONSIN:

Are you asking yourself the same question. Don't fuck with me. Please.

PENNSYLVANIA:

Yes and I'm not fucking with u...