By the way your hair looked puffy.

Now HE could be my next boy-friend. I bet I wouldn't even miss you then.

Scott Speedman - are you single?

(his hands alone are enough to make a girl swoon!)

Dear Pennsylvania,

UGH. I just looked at Guitar Player's facebook and there was a link to a video you were in. I watched like a nano second of it and then it stopped loading. Probably a good thing because I was getting sick looking at your face. By the way your hair looked puffy.

Ugh - I hate that I did that. I hate that the sight of your face and your very existence can take me from contently enjoying my night to suddenly feeling queasy and hollow. I want to get over you, not because I want to be over you (I very much love loving you) but because I don't want to feel so controlled by you. I am sick of being heart broken. Isn't it over yet? Haven't I suffered enough? How much longer????

I suppose it's getting better - day by day. I haven't cried since, Sunday. HA! I cried to you that day, but I think that was much less over you and much more over my general life situation. I can get an email from you and not email you back immediately (sometimes). I can let myself dream of meeting my husband and imagine how he will have all the qualities I love about you, but also be in love with me AND be more financially together (sorry, but it's the truth). He will be insanely funny like you - genius like you - creative and compassionate. Scruffy and silly. And have a jaw-line that puts yours to shame :) He will love to cook together, just like me and you. He will pour me a glass of wine while we are making dinners (you didn't do that). We will travel far and wide. He will let me decorate our apartment (we never did move in together). We will be green just like us. We will volunteer together (this we never did). And mostly we will just laugh and talk 'til the wee hours of the morning because we have so much to say.

I do miss laughing with you. I think you make me laugh harder than any person I know. You are just so dark and twisted and silly. Well, I guess that means my next boy-friend is just going to have to be funnier.

My dear I hope you are well. But I do hope that something reminds you of me and it make YOU queasy and miss me so much your heart literally aches with longing.

Love,

Wisconsin