Otherwise just shut up. None of this maybe shit.
I just decided tonight before yoga I am upset at your email response. What the fuck is "u never know, dot dot dot" supposed to mean??? Honestly. You do realize that I am pathetically still in love with you, right? And you do realize it is assholish to feed a starving girl false hope, right!!?!?!?!?
Honestly I am a fool. Because all day I my broken heart was thinking, "yeah I bet you are changing your mind - maybe we will bet back together!!!". Even the the realistic part of me saw a glimmer of light until I slapped myself straight across the face! "WAKE UP WISCONSIN!!!! You don't love me like that!!!! You broke up with me because you weren't attracted to me. How can you change that problem? I can just hear you saying "anything is possible". I wish you wouldn't even plant the seed of possibility. Because frankly it is kind of malicious. I don't know if you are trying to be intellectual or make some profound life statement. Just don't.
Sometimes I really don't think you get it. You broke my fucking heart. I sublet my apartment to move in with you and as I was packing my bags you told me you aren't attracted to me - you aren't in love with me three weeks before my lease was up. And I AM in love with you. Do you give me false hope to be intellectual, or to keep me on the back burner just in case you change your mind - or because you really are starting to have a change of heart. WHY?
Ok.....deep breath. A little anger. But it's because you hurt me and I just don't want to be hurt more. And I know you - I know you aren't a malicious person, I know you are so full of love and compassion - but could you use a little more - for me? Because my heart is still broken.....maybe not as broken. But you know, I still love you.
Love,
Wisconsin
PS
It felt a little good to be mad at you.....since I spend most of my time just missing you.
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