Sunday, February 27, 2011

I am scared. I am sad. I am anxious.

singing one of my faves.


Dear Pennsylvania,

I wonder if you watched the Oscars. I wonder if you thought of me - especially during the end when my favorite choir sang! Can you believe it? What an amazing opportunity for those kids. They ALWAYS make me cry.

I wanted to call you so bad today - but I was proud of myself I called so many people instead - no one answered, but I just kept going down the roster.

It's soon - maybe tonight, certainly in the next couple of days. I am scared. I am sad. I am anxious. I have never dealt with death in such a close way. I want to call you because I just want to cry, like I am right now actually (which is good I need a release). It's just so sad. I wonder how the kids will be. I wonder how Uncle will be. I wish California was home, thankfully she will be home Tuesday.

I just wish I could cry in your arms. I never really did that, but now I would like to. I know you are there - it sounds silly but I can feel your support. It's hard because you are still the person that I want to go to for support, but I can't, not without making things harder than they already are. Poo :_) (that means, smiling through the tears).



Love,
Wisconsin

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