Saturday, February 19, 2011

I believe in love, despite all the heart-ache.

Am I?

Dear Pennsylvania,

Well I did it. I went an entire night and day all by myself with no break-downs. I admit I was a little nervous going into this weekend. A lot of alone time could equal a lot of time to miss you. But nope. I was super busy re-designing the other blog. I downloaded a free 30-day trial of photoshop. It got me thinking about how you never got me photoshop even though you said you would. Well, okay so you tried and you got me half way there, but it never worked. But I wish you would have followed up with your computer guy - not only because I really want it, but because I always did so much for you. You think you would have wanted to help me out. But again, you weren't in love with me so I guess it wasn't a priority. I get it. You aren't in love with me.

I did break my "alone fast" tonight and went out with Ten and Conservative. HA! As you know, he is so conservative. We always get in arguments. Tonight we were chatting about the whole teacher union situation here and the democrats in hiding. At a certain point I had to stop and just say we have to agree to disagree. It's amazing how opposite people can think. Anyway, it was fun though to catch up with them. They seem really happy and settled into each other.

Someday maybe I will find someone to settle into. I thought it would be you - though in my gut I guess I knew. I denied it, but something was always off, I could always tell you weren't in love with me. I was just so in love and foolishly hopeful. Plus we did have the best time together....even you will admit that.

In some ways being single again is exciting. I am after all a hopeless romantic. I can day dream about how I am going to meet the man of my dreams. I get to fall in love again (hopefully). This time it better be mutual:) Do you think I am damaged goods? Why hasn't it happened for me yet? And now I am no spring chicken and there is a tiny part of me that thinks maybe something is really wrong with me - or maybe it just won't happen for me. Most of my friends are engaged or married and ultra-sound pictures keep popping up on facebook. (big sigh) I have faith. It will happen. I believe in love, despite all the heart-ache.

It's supposed to snow a bunch here tomorrow I hope I can make the trip home. Yikes, I hate driving in normal conditions. I really want to get home for this yoga workshop with Wade Morissette. Plus the kids have "off" on Monday and we were going to re-do One's bedroom. I am looking forward to it.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

Much love,
Wisconsin

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